The Little Boy by Helen E. Buckley

This is exactly what I mean by the idea of putting children “inside a box”. Rather than letting a child explore their own likes and dislikes, cans and can’t, they are told what to like and dislike and what they can and cannot do. I have personally experienced similar situations. Unfortunately, my memories of school as a young child feel like a blur, but I do recall always feeling frustrated and upset when someone told me what to do in such a manner. That holds true to this day. I can remember an instance that occurred outside of school when I was a teenager. At the age of 16 I began practicing judo. I was usually the smallest person in our team and trained with people much larger and stronger than me. I would always watch our sensei (teacher) as they explained the techniques we would be practicing, tried them how they showed us, and then inevitably tweaked them slightly to work best for me. During one of our training sessions I had the opportunity to train with several of the senseis. Naturally I practiced the moves in a ways that were most effective for me. The first sensei, told me I was conducting the move incorrectly, even though it was just as effective in lifting and taking down my opponent while respecting the original form of that technique. He showed me how he did the move and had me repeatedly practice it the way he deemed correct.  We switch partners and I practiced the same move with another sensei. I had practiced with this sensei many times before. He seemed confused as to why I was having so much trouble with that technique. That experience caused me to feel inadequate in a martial art I excelled in. Of course, this sensei’s way was ineffective for me. It made it more difficult for me to lift and throw my opponent. I felt frustrated and my performance that day was poor in comparison to my other training sessions. Rather than understanding that one needs to adjust certain techniques in a way that maintains the art form while allowing the judoka to effectively apply it, a sense of discouragement was introduced into my practice.